However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogma. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness. There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include “all that is.” It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

There are many wonderful books on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide? Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.” But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Over time, most of us fall into a sex routine that becomes boring and depleting instead of nurturing, and does not deserve the name of love making. Making love tantrically allows you to achieve high pleasure for the body, and great satisfaction for your emotions and spirit. It is deeply nourishing and bonding and always new, because it is taking place in each moment, as you respond to each other with honesty and support.

Making love this way becomes a priority in a relationship. Great lovemaking restores and/or adds harmony, peace and joy to everyone else you interact with too. It is worth the time and the investment you make in learning how to achieve this hot and relaxing Tantric space, a door through which you can enter into a new, higher, more expanded you on your way to Enlightenment.

I hope this brief overview of this wonderful art has stimulated your imagination and creativity to explore new avenues for your sexuality.

Francesca Gentille, host of “Sex, Tantra, and Kama Sutra,” interviews Carla about Tantra as a healing process, and a rejuvenation and relationship tool.

Learn how Tantra moves beyond psychotherapy to develop the emotional-physical bond and rejuvenates the body and mind. Carla explains how to work with a Tantrika, convenient rituals you can do at home to establish deep connection with your lover, and how to use Tantric communication to open your heart to more connected and authentic sex.

Listen to the podcast >>

Read the interview transcript >>

What she said came from a rehearsed circular thinking in her head.  She did not allow herself time to feel.   She told me she hated herself and especially her body.  She grew up with a self-righteous alcoholic father and a Catholic mother who did NOT allow herself or her children to feel feelings, especially those of pleasure.

She complained that she had a dark secret:  she was 49 years old and she had never had an orgasm!  All her friends were telling her of their great lovemaking, ending in earthshaking orgasms. . . Whether they were telling her the truth or not, she believed them and guessed there was something wrong with her.

Talking to Jane did not seem the best approach, because her rigid belief that there was something wrong with her would just filter out my words.  I had to try something more direct.

I could see that Jane was breathing high, shallow breaths, lifting her upper chest while her lower chest remained immobile ,and her belly pulled in tightly as though she had to save her back from the strain of lifting a heavy weight.  She was in a state of high stress.  Although her muscles were quite tight, giving the illusion of strength, she was pale, and lacking inner strength.

So I empathized and created a safe space for Jane to feel her feelings. I started her off with the Ocean Breath, a gentle,
powerful breath that takes people out of their minds and into their bodies in a very short space of time.  Although the Ocean Breath is easy to learn, the resistance to it can be great.  One of the skills of a Tantric guide is to create a safe space where one can feel supported in discovering emotional truths we are hiding from ourselves.

Jane’s first fear was that she might be swept away by her emotions, and then succumb to some terrible, life threatening attack from outside.    We looked at it together with kindness without buying into it, and the fear started to diminish enough for her to achieve a relaxed state she had never felt before.

After I encouraged her to do the Ocean Breath for a while, her body started to soften.  Her cheeks became rosy and the constant movement in her eyes slowed down.  She was afraid of falling asleep when she reached a peaceful place.  Wanting to fall asleep is another defense, so I invited her to continue the Ocean Breath.  Then another fear emerged, the fear of liking pleasure so much she would stop working and then . . . starve!  A series of fears came up, including that she would be punished or even raped if she allowed herself to be playful.

We calmly addressed those fears one at the time.  After a while she finally surrendered to enjoying the feeling of pleasure in her body and a sense of acceptance that she never felt before. By the end of the session, she had transformed her urgency to have an orgasm into a calm confident acceptance that having orgasms is natural when we allow ourselves to just feel and be present to those feelings, riding on the waves of the breath.

She called me after a week of practicing the Ocean Breath for 20 minutes a day, and told me that she had experienced a great orgasm with her boyfriend.

By the way, the Ocean Breath works for men as well.  By focusing you in your body, it helps you relax your mind and escape the relentless self-criticism we all struggle with.   This helps you to overcome premature ejaculation, to relax enough to feel more pleasure and have greater orgasms (including full-body orgasms), and take the women to her greatest pleasure!

Amrita – The essence or “Nectar” of the Goddess. Physically, it is produced by the increased glandular production of various hormonal activities throughout the body during Kundalini arousal; alchemically it is considered “the Fountain of Youth” because of the numerous energetic and health benefits. Amrita is also known as the spiritual essence of “chi” contained in the female ejaculate.

Ananda – Sanskrit for “Divine Bliss;” an ecstatic state of complete inward devotion, oneness with higher, spiritual realms of peace, love and ecstasy

Anahata – 4th Chakra, near the cardiac plexus, associated with transcendental Love or the physical experience of “Connectedness” to all of Life and All Beings.

Asana – A yoga posture or easy pose of the physical body. It is practiced in conjunction with specific breathing techniques (Pranayama).

Atman – The essence of perfection inherent to all creatures.

Bhandas – Muscular lock used to intensify and direct Kundalini energy.

Chakras – Sanskrit word meaning “Wheel,” esoterically describing the bundle of nerve centers scientifically located in various concentrated areas of the human body at the base of spine, genital region, stomach area, heart/lung area, throat, forehead (third eye), and top of the head.

Conscious Loving – A love that is based on intimacy, honesty and mutual support rather than a surface liking based on sexual attraction only. Conscious loving goes beyond mutual attraction into being there for each other on all levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually and growing into deeper love together.

Dakini and Daka – A woman (Dakini) or a man (Daka) who guides and supports students of Tantra to become ready to experience their highest sexual/spiritual potential. The Daka/Dakini profession requires a real commitment to a personal journey toward enlightenment and a sense of service to help others in their sensual and spiritual development.

Daka – Male Priest or healer which embodies Shiva and serves Shakti unconditionally.

Dakini – Female Tantrika or Yogini, or Priestess. An attendant or servant to the Goddess who holds the intention to embody Her highest essence.

Darshan – Inner vision; to see a great or holy individual, either human or divine.

Deva –Deity or divine cosmic power.

Devi – Sankrit word meaning Feminine Deity or a divine creative power.

Dharana – A yogic practice of Concentration.

Dharma – Divine duty, or highest spiritual path to live in accordance’s with one’s own True Nature or Buddha-Nature.

Dhyana – A yogic practice of Meditation.

Durga – The Indian “Dark Mother” warrior Goddess.

Ecstasy – Literally means “outside of yourself” – a pleasurable state that takes you beyond your ego mind into timelessness bliss usually occurring during Tantric orgasms.

G-spot – A spongy area located on the anterior vaginal wall, which is highly erogenous. It is actually called g-spot because it was introduced to the Western medical world by Dr. Grafenburg. Tantra knew about this “spot” way before him. There is a difference between a g- spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. When women open up their g-spot they can have several orgasms, each one more powerful than the other. Men have a g-spot too, and it is on the prostate glands. When that area is stimulated, they can have similar orgasms as women.

Guru – A spiritual teacher, one who points to the way to enlightenment.

Hatha – Literally the “Sun joins the Moon” symbolically translates to the soul’s connection with the body.

Heart Connection – You know you have a heart connection when whatever you are feeling or thinking is softened by the heart. Between lovers, a heart connection exists when you have tender feelings for each other and you want the best for each other. The sensual full-body orgasm helps open the heart even more.

Intention – A deliberate directedness. For example, when we raise lots of energy in Tantra it is important to set an intention on what you want the energy to be used for. If the intention is not set, usually the energy gets dispersed randomly instead of being channeled in the direction we want to send it.

Intimacy – “Into me see” – A state of being fully transparent and open with a lover so that love can flow freely.

Initiation – A ceremony of induction into a specific spiritual lineage or Tradition of knowledge, religion and practice; often thought to “confer” spiritual energy at the time of ceremony to directly empower the individual in their pursuit of that path.

Kali – The Tantric and Hindu Goddess of Enlightenment; Destroyer of Illusion; Consort of Shiva.

Karma – The result of our conscious or unconscious actions. Good actions bring good results and bad actions bring unwanted results often with negative consequences.

Kriya – System of internal purification or cleansing process.

Kundalini – Latent energy located at the base of the spine or “as a coiled sleeping serpent” which Tantric exercises aim to awaken in order to help reach enlightenment. Physically it is acts like an electrochemical bio-feedback component to the nervous system which through stimulation causes rapid changes in body-mind neurochemistry that result in altered states of conscious awareness. In these states, you can become aware of knowledge beyond the ego state and see the interconnection with All that Exists. The goal of Tantra is to develop the physical, emotional and spiritual mastery necessary to safely free the power of Kundulini. This leads to the sacred union of Shiva and Shakti (or Yin and Yang) that opens the practitioner to experience enlightenment.

Kundalini yoga – The path of yoga activating the spiritual cosmic energy that lies dormant at the base of the spine. Tantric exercises open the space for Kundulini to rise up through the Chakra system reaching the crown Chakra which can result in ecstatic orgasms and flashes of enlightenment. The exercises that help awaken this sleeping giant include techniques of breathing, muscle locks and postures.

Lakshmi – Goddess of abundance, wealth, happiness and prosperity. The consort of Lord Vishnu

Lingam – The name for penis. In Sanskrit it means Wand of Light, which refers to the light that it brings into the female genitals.

Maha – Great, mighty one.

Maithuna – Elaborate Tantric ritual with many parts, usually culminating in some form of sacred sexual union.

Mudra – Sacred hand gestures to focus the body’s energy with intention; they can “transmit” sacred spiritual or cosmic energy on a vibrational level.

Muladhara – 1st Chakra, commonly called “The Root Center,” located near the base of the spine between anus and perineum.

Mula Bandha –The muscular lock that intensifies and re-directs energy at Muladhara Chakra.

Nadis – Subtle bundles of nervous energy located along the central nervous system, related to psycho-spiritual energy and mind-body consciousness.

Nirvana – Ultimate spiritual peace, a place that transcends birth and death and absolute freedom from attachment is achieved.

Ocean Breath – A flowing, deep and connected diaphragmatic breath that helps circumvent the constantly interrupting ego mind. It promotes a wonderfully vibrant relaxation that opens your heart and your senses. It creates a great connection within your own chakra system and with your lover. It can facilitate to integration of subconscious material that needs to come up to consciousness for you to enjoy more love.

Ohana Tantra – A powerful Tantric approach based on sexual healing and ecstatic pleasure techniques, uniquely based on The Ocean Breath, the most important Shakti Breath, and all kinds of Shiva breaths that can direct and/or control sexual energy.

Ojas – Subtle vital life force within the body that is connected to health, immunity and reproductive functions. (Like prana or chi)

Orgasmic Waves – A wave that the body naturally experiences to spread orgasmic energy into all chakras

Pratyahara – The withdrawal of the mind’s focus of attention from external objects, directing it toward internal points of focus.

Prana – Energy, air, breath, life force; received by the body from pure food, nurturing, healing and self transformation.

Pranayama – Yogic breath techniques; conscious control of breathing patterns to quiet the mind and balance the body’s natural energies.

Puja – A specific ritual, or sacred circle and ceremony of worship.

Reiki – Japanese energy work involving a type of “laying on of hands” and psychic meditation which employs Universal Healing Energy.

Rejuvenation – The ability of the body to restore itself. It is more proper to call it “slowed aging for maximum health and vitality.”

Sacred Sex – Sex that unites lovers spiritually as well as sexually, bringing them to the highest pleasure imaginable.

Sahasrara – 7th Chakra, commonly called “The Crown Center,” located at the top of the head, associated with Supreme Inner Realization of Godhead.

Samadhi – The state in which consciousness is illuminated by the Divine Light – without any desire.

Sarasvati – Indian Goddess of Knowledge or Cosmic Teacher of Sanskrit.

Sexual Healing – The healing of sexual blocks or wounds that have been stored in the body, often in the g-spot area. A Tantra session can activate the healing to free the body to have more ease with sex and become comfortable with higher pleasure.

Shakti – Indian concept of the Female Nature Power of Consciousness creating spiritual evolution.

Shaman – American Indian name for a spiritual healer.

Shaktipat – A transmission of spiritual energy usually given by a Guru.

Sky Dancing – A translated Tantric term used to describe Transcendental Love.

Soul Gazing – A Tantric technique used to open up deeper intimacy. It is based on gazing into each other’s eyes to see the soul beyond the personality. Tantra teaches to direct our soft gaze into each other’s left eye because it connects with the right side of the brain, the more emotional and spiritual part of the brain.

Svadhisthana – 2nd Chakra, commonly called “The Sexual Energy Center,” located near the genital region, encompassing the lower belly region, associated with the lower emotional needs as well as sexual identity, sexual expression and “gender”.

Tantra – A Yogic science, which seeks to enlighten the individual through contemplating and experiencing the nature of Divine Bliss in all that exists. It is the art and science of conscious living and the art of creating the highest pleasure through lovemaking. Tantra is about enjoying the moment fully and deeply weaving consciousness and energy into the most expanded state. Tantra’s main focus is to lead us to the Enlightened state beyond our body/mind using self-knowledge and pleasure as the vehicle. Read answers to your questions about Tantra in my Tantra FAQ.

The Tantras – ancient Hindu texts describing Tantric knowledge.

Tantric lifestyle – a lifestyle geared to clearing blocks, strengthening our physical, emotional and spiritual systems, and using the increased energy to heighten pleasure, connection and intimacy.

Upandishads – Literally “secret teachings,” the last portion of the Vedas.

Vedas – Sacred Hindu scriptures, thought to be between 5000 and 7000 years old. They preceded the Tantras.

Vishuddha – 5th Chakra, commonly called “The Throat Center,” located at the throat and associated with Spiritual Self-Truth and the element of Sound and voice (ie, “speaking one’s Truth”).

Yab-Yum – An asana in which the two partners sit vertically facing one another, Chakras aligned, accompanied by Tantric Breathing, Mulahbunda and spinal undulation. A powerful position to bring sexual energy up the chakras; the best position for ejaculation control. Often used for transformative lovemaking.

Yang – Active, quick, firm, masculine or technical energy.

Yantra – Mystic geometrical diagram used for healing meditation.

Yin – Receptive, gentle, soft sensuality, feminine or intuitive energy.

Yoni – Commonly associated with the female “Vulva” or cosmic feminine energy and/or receptivity. It means Sacred Space.

Yuga – Era, epoch. This age is the end of the Kali Yuga.

For more information , you can also visit my Tantra FAQ.

Take a moment to reflect on your parents and your upbringing as a child. Make a list of what your mother and father believed about sex and love.

Now, consider the following list and answer for yourself, did you parents believe and tell you at an appropriate age that:

* sex is a gift from God and it is your right to enjoy it fully;
* sexual energy creates great pleasure and expands love;
* it is important to make love to yourself to find out what you like so you can tell your lover;
* moving sexual energy is healthy for your body, mind and spirit;
* it is your responsibly to achieve orgasms;
* you have the right to ask how you want to be touched and kissed, and where;
* you take turns in giving and receiving pleasure;
* before making love, clear out resentments that might create a bigger disturbance if not addressed;
* making love out of duty creates a rift in your soul;
* looking into each other’s eyes in a soft way increases your openness to give and receive love.

If you answered no to several of these points, or if this list is quite different from your first list of your parents’ beliefs about love and sex, you might consider doing the work of changing those beliefs into your own empowering beliefs.

Perhaps your parents themselves were never exposed to these ideas, and they might have felt shame or guilt about their own sexuality.

In that case, even if they told you all or some of the above, you might have received instead their unconscious message that sex was shameful.

That happens because as a child you live on an emotional level, so you absorb what your parents believe in their guts more than what they tell you with words, even when they believe their words at an intellectual, thinking level.

Now that you are a grown up, it is your right to check in with yourself and see where you are still unconsciously faithful to your parents’ beliefs. This may be challenging emotionally – you took in what they believed because you loved them, and changing those beliefs might feel to you like a betrayal of your love.

You can both love your parents for who they are, without judgement, and also find and own your own beliefs that will empower you to a richer and more pleasurable life.

To bring those beliefs up into the conscious mind –where beliefs can be changed –takes intention, introspection, commitment, and a special breathing which I call “Ocean Breath,” one of the most important Tantric breathing techniques.

As you know, unless the foundation of a building is firm, the building may collapse. Make sure that the foundation of your love-building is strong, so you can build it as high as you want in strength and safety.

Blessings,

Carla Tara

In contrast to the “pump up and burst” type of ejaculatory orgasm that usually leaves men tired, I teach my male clients to have non-ejaculatory orgasms that build up their energy instead. Many men I’ve coached tell me they still feel their body charged with erotic energy, and they become emotionally closer to their love partner. Some report a strong sense of bonding to themselves as well. They experience themselves as more loveable, and have higher self-esteem. Thoughts and feelings are in alignment–that is, they no longer think one way and feel another. They feel at peace with themselves, and connected with the whole of life.

How Can A Man Learn To Have Multiple Orgasms?

Sometimes a man can reach a very high orgasm by accident, in which he feels his energy expand beyond his body to include his lover. Occasionally he can even reach high levels of spiritual connection as well. But without the scientific knowledge of how to reproduce these effects, achieving such results is left to chance.

Tantra, however, uses methods that can produce repeatable results when practiced correctly. An important part of the tantric approach is the understanding of energy–how it’s stirred up, expanded, and moved to different parts of the body. If a man wants to attain more control over achieving multiple orgasms without ejaculation, he’ll need to learn the tantric techniques. These can best be acquired from women who have the dedication, knowledge and experience to be tantric love coaches. These women are called Tantrikas.

If a Tantrika is unavailable in your area, you might get some very basic information from Tantra books or videotapes. But trying to learn how to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms from such instructional aids alone is comparable to learning to ride a bike by reading a book about bicycles. To perfect your technique, you really have to get on a bike yourself, or have a private Tantra session with an experienced Tantrika.

What Does A Tantrika Teach Men?

These techniques come to us from the ancient knowledge of Tantra, the art and science of becoming a more conscious person and lover. They include methods of concentration to tune into your body sensations, without allowing your mind to wander, or comparing this experience with others, or rushing to reach a specific goal. They include very important breathing techniques–some designed to increase sexual energy, some to surrender to that energy, and some to control that energy. Also important are techniques designed to use sound in a special way to vibrate different parts of the body to further expand that energy.

I’ve had several men tell me they were embarrassed to make sounds during lovemaking, believing only women make them. But after they’ve experienced the qualitative and quantitative differences of erotic excitement that the orgasmic sounds can produce, they accept the idea with more enthusiasm. Many of them decide to tell their love partner before lovemaking that they’ll use certain sounds to increase and lengthen their mutual pleasure. They invariably find their partners are actually turned on by those sounds.

The techniques of seven levels of movements–from the shallowest and slowest to the deepest and fastest–can be used like precisely fine-tuned instruments in a wonderful symphony (andante, staccato, etc.), depending on the effects you want to create. For example, as you feel yourself approaching the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you’d change your pelvic movement from the yang to the yin–that is, from the fast and strong thrust to a slower and more relaxed one, perhaps directing the thrust away from your partner’s body and softening the penetration.

Also important are techniques of varying the touching approach of your sexual organs, your heart area, and other parts of your body at specific times during lovemaking. For instance, a relaxed perineum (the area between the genitals and the anus) and strong love muscles (the pubo-coccygeal or PC muscles at the base of your pelvis) are prerequisites for de-localizing your sexual energy. In that way you can avoid ejaculation, and at the same time increase your orgasmic pleasure, by re-directing highly charged sexual energy to other parts of your body.

Feeling Your Orgasm Through Your Whole Body

All the above tools and more aid in creating multiple full-body orgasms–orgasms that are felt throughout the entire body, not just in the genitals. An analogy that helps men understand the process is that of wave surfing. As you’re building up your sexual energy, you ride the wave upward. As you’re approaching the crest, you start riding along the crest, thus avoiding going over the top. Greater and longer thrills are your reward if you don’t allow yourself to go over the top of the first wave.

Another analogy that helps explain multiple orgasms is that of climbing a tall mountain with several peaks. When you’re almost within reach of the first peak, you hang out in an adjacent valley and feel the blessings of the high energy you’ve generated so far. You can use tantric techniques to sustain your erection for as long as you want, and at the same time connect deeper with your love partner’s heart and soul. At this first peak, you can have your first non-ejaculatory orgasm that involves the whole body. It’s also called a Valley Orgasm. It’s as though all the cells of your body are exploding with pleasure and excitement, while the lingam (the penis) is still retaining most of its energy. It takes just a moment of concentration on the lingam for it to recharge even stronger than before.

After this invigorating “rest” you can resume the movement and the breathing that will bring you to the next peak, and then to yet another. The full-body orgasms get increasingly stronger, until you reach the highest peak of the Himalayas. This lovemaking could culminate in the biggest, strongest orgasm that you’ve ever experienced. This is when you can go beyond your body to feel your connection with the whole cosmos. You then can really experience the feeling that you’re not only a cell in the infinite universe, but you also are the universe, and can come back into your physical reality fully recharged and more at peace.

If after many such peaks you decide to ejaculate as well, Tantra recommends that you do that by taking the longest, deepest breath and then exhale slowly, vocalizing your excitement while you’re ejaculating. Tantric masters can prolong their ejaculations to last for nine consecutive deep breaths.

You Do Not Have To Be A Tantra Master To Use These Techniques

The best candidates for this esoteric knowledge are men who are honest enough with themselves to admit that, no matter how good they are as lovers, they can always improve their techniques and approaches to lovemaking. These men are courageous enough to ask for help, and smart enough to get it. They know their greatest wealth is the quality of life they create for themselves, and for the women they love. These men also have enough wisdom to know that experiencing full-body orgasms will take time and practice.

When practicing these techniques, there are many signs to look for that can confirm you’re on the right track. A tingling sensation, shifts of consciousness, a warm glow, a feeling of being lost in time, making involuntary sounds and spontaneous movements, and becoming relaxed in a high state of excitement are all signs of an impending full-body orgasm. The key is to pay attention to the smallest sensations in your body. Instead of judging them as “too small to matter,” you become curious about how big they can get-but without making that a goal.

A wise man also knows that sometimes we have unconscious resistance to pleasure, and that some limiting thoughts or emotions like shame or guilt might come up. This is an important reason a qualified coach can be very valuable. An experienced Tantrika can spot those more-or-less subtle blocks and invite you to relax, own them, and move through them to a higher level of bliss.

Full-Body Orgasms Feel Great – But They Have Other Benefits Too

Learning to have several full-body orgasms without ejaculating can help a man circulate his sexual energy to flood his hormonal system, and re-stimulate hormone-producing cells that usually reduce their production as we become older. Higher production occurs during your developing years, and then diminishes steadily with age. Men using the tantric techniques can heighten their hormone production, especially the “free” testosterone which causes high sexual desire and improves performance.

There are several other benefits to this practice. Exercising your love muscles will strengthen them, and will help keep your erection powerful and strong for a very long time. The increased circulation that results from the recommended contractions and releases will help to keep the sexual organs strong and healthy. The risk of ending up with prostate problems diminishes substantially.

One of the most important side benefits of a man mastering the multiple orgasm techniques is that it gives the woman time to get greatly stimulated and her genitals time to get highly engorged, so that she can have several orgasms herself. The ancient tantric masters knew that if they satisfied their woman sexually and they honored her as an equal partner, harmony in the family was the result. Besides, I’m often told that a man’s greatest pleasure is to see his woman very turned on by him.

Have you ever considered how much money, time, and emotional pain a divorce ends up costing? Some divorces happen because of lack of trust, and lack of communication. However, in my many years of helping men, women and couples achieve their maximum satisfaction in life, I have consistently observed that when sex is great and men have certain control over their sexual instincts, life becomes more fulfilling sexually, spiritually, and on all other levels. The emotions and the spirit get lots of nurturing, and the love between the couple grows much stronger. Trust and communication improve greatly. When you make love for a couple of hours instead of just a few minutes, you’re more likely to stop outer body movements and get into deep communication by looking into each other’s eyes, and sending energy back and forth to each other.

During these love-building breaks you’d communicate how much you like making love to your partner, and how important she is in your life. You might take turns flexing your internal love muscles to maintain your erection. Don’t worry if your erection diminishes in size a bit. You can regain the full erection shortly after you start moving again. In Tantra you’ll learn that it’s more about moving energy than about “work.” You’ll learn to circulate your sexual energy throughout your body–and hers–expanding it to gain all these benefits while having a wonderful time.

In the end, even if you decide to ejaculate, you’ll have absorbed most of the energetic content of your ejaculate, and you won’t feel tired and sleepy afterwards. You can stay awake and share pillow-talk with your partner, an activity all women seem to enjoy after making love. This is an instance in which you can have your cake and eat it too.

Learning On Your Own

The best way to learn any body-centered practice, including sexual techniques, is definitely one-on-one with a coach, but for some people this is not an option. They may not be able to travel, or have a limited income, or just feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger about such a personal issue.

In these cases, an online or home-study course can be your best option. One course which has been recommended with very good results is Ian Kessler’s Male Multiple Orgasm, and if you are looking for a course you can follow privately at home, at your own pace, I recommend you read more about it.

One-on-One Private Coaching

If you would have more questions about learning how to achieve multiple orgasms, and would like to schedule a private session with me, you can contact me.