Giving In The Spirit of Tantra
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
The hustle and bustle of many of us who have bought into the commercialization of the Holidays are can be greatly scaled down if you spend a few minutes to check in with yourself – how well are you receiving the presents that life offers you every single day?
When you have a real smile on your face, because you are thinking how lucky you are to have health, the sunshine, the rain, the abundance of fruits that nature gives us, the ability to reach out to thousands of people and contribute to their lives, a call from a friend who is thinking of you…then you are enjoying the true gifts of life.
I believe that when you are good at receiving with gratefulness in your heart, you are also good at giving of yourself – remember that for the people in your life, the best present of all is your full presence. Even a hug given with full presence is a great gift. Yes, you truly can give a lot when you look into another’s eyes and are touched by the love you feel for this person.
If giving more material presents makes you happy and does not unduly stress your finances, go ahead and be generous in that way, too. Just take the time, and make sure you connect while you are giving your present. Then it will have double value!
Love,
Carla
Carla Tara
The Intimacy Expert
11-11-11
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
11-11-11 – all these 1s make up a single 1 –
1 to the power of 1 is still one
Today it’s a celebration of coming home to who we are, a facet of an enormous diamond. It is time to accept and celebrate our oneness with each other, the earth and all that is.
Our history shows that war has not brought peace When we think of ourselves as separate it is easy to make another the enemy When we think and feel we are one then there is peace.
Yet knowing this on an intellectual level does not help much. It is almost impossible to feel One when you are divided inside, split between thinking and feeling, between left and right brain. Today is the beginning of integrating all of who we are.
Acceptance precedes integration. you need to accept your shadow side instead of fighting it
Accept that it is there and reflect on the consequences that it creates if acted out
When our shadow side is left undetected
you can not choose to transform it into love, our only hope for integrating all of who we are and feel the pleasure of Union.
The Revolution to the old ways of thinking is exciting. Revolution without the R = evolution.
How willing are we to actually evolve? Today is the perfect day to reflect on it. I would love to hear your thoughts too.
VIDEO: Internet Pornography Threatens The Future of Our Young Men
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
I wanted to share with you this amazing video by Philip Zimbardo on the effect growing up with the internet is having on young boy’s developing their sexuality and how they interact socially. It’s short – less than 5 minutes – but some of the statistics and information he shares are shocking. We need to reassess how our young men and women are developing in a changed world, and take the time to help them negotiate these challenges!
Tantra can correct the damage created by porn. My work with young men of legal age gives me confirmation that men are really longing for intimacy as much as women do. However, there are painfully too few young men who take the time to tune in to notice how unfulfilled they are after porn-like s e x. Romance and slow sexual interaction are ‘boring’ to these young men only until they learn Tantra, and then they are amazed to discover how much better sex is with emotional connection.
The challenge for us as a community that believes in the ecstasy of sacred sex is how to bring this knowledge to more young men beyond the few who are natural seekers – to the ones who don’t even know what experience this focus on pornography is robbing from them.
I would love to read your suggesions on how we can reach them.
Going Deeper Into Love Through Sex
Many people think that they are too open minded to have any shame and guilt about their sex lives, but negative emotions have learned how to hide deep in the psyche because they clash with the intellectual part of the brain. Hidden shame and/or guilt about not being perfect are still sabotaging many relationships. I’m always amazed how it is possible for these to be hiding away in our subconscious, sometimes for many years.
Modern free thinkers seldom imagine the damage that these negative belief cause. They have probably read all the books that brilliantly explain how sex is a great energy that can actually help to have harmonious relationships and even lead to enlightenment. The problem is that, the wisdom we read in books still only engages us on an intellectual level, and doesn’t penetrate down to the level of belief.
Many of us have absorbed – usually early in life – unhealthy beliefs which sabotage deep love. Unless you had the perfect upbringing, you probably have taken in limiting beliefs around sex from people you grew up with. Very few parents understand the power and spirituality of sex and do not know how to talk about it in a free educational way. As children and teenagers we are confronted with the duality: sex feels good, and yet we are directly or indirectly taught that it is bad or shameful.
Guilt can also be passed from an adult who interacts sexually with a child or teenager inappropriately. The child absorbs the feeling that there is something wrong with sex. Instead, what is wrong is the inappropriate use of sex, or sexual approach at that age from that person. But the subconscious doesn’t distinguish, and it translates that sense of wrongness from one sexual situation into a general negative reaction to sexuality itself.
Both shame and guilt disconnect us from love and make a deeply satisfying relationship impossible. The good news is that the tantric approach brings up all possible negative repressed emotions into the open, where with the help of a skilled practitioner they can be transformed into the truth of the innocence and power of appropriate sex. To enjoy sex fully, you need to connect it to love, and love is the deepest emotion.
When sex and love are disconnected your deepest needs for nurturing and sexual merging remain unfulfilled – whether you are avoiding sex or are addicted to it. And you probably know that addictions, after a very short spike of pleasure, always leave you empty and bored.
When those limiting beliefs surface and are transformed into love they are actually presenting you with a gift. They enrich you by giving back to you all the energy that was being used to keep them suppressed, under the radar of the rational, intellectual mind.
It is reassuring to know that if you clear up all the negative connotations around sex that are kept in place in the subconscious, you can experience the depth of love. You can only go as deep as you are emotionally free. When the sabotaging emotions are transformed, your energy and the intensity of your pleasure increase exponentially, and so does love.
Are you searching for that true connection with your authentic self?
I can help.
Call me at 917-513-2500 or email carla@1tantra.com to talk about the next step in your path.
Finding Freedom in Tantra
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
As we celebrate the July 4th weekend, I want to share with you some thoughts on how important it is to appreciate and increase our independence inside of us as well.
The Founding Fathers of America fought to gain the outside freedoms – to live how they wanted without oppression and to make their own government. These are the basic foundations of the free society we live in today.
But to live a satisfying and fulfilling life, you must be free in your mind and body as well – and this is something no one else can do for us. When we do our Tantra practice, we are creating our own freedom in our sexuality and emotions.
If you come from a history of hurt or shame about your sexuality, the road to sexual independence can seem very hard. Just the negative effects of the attitude toward sexuality in our society can slow us down – using overhyped sex to sell everything on the one hand, and silencing connectedness and real sexual knowledge on the other.
I urge you to continue in your path – exploring your sexuality, moving deeper into connection with your beloved, feeling more and more. Your goal is the freedom to express and enjoy all of your divine sexual self. It is also independence worth fighting for.
Blessings to you,
Carla
