Father’s Day – Celebration For Some And Sadness For Others!
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
Fatherhood brings a lot of responsibility and also great joy to the man who is committed to being a loving father who honestly cares for the welfare of his children.
A good father bonds with his children and helps them along the path of finding out who they are, their talents, and to becoming the best they can be.
We know no one is perfect. However, there is a lot of satisfaction in being a ‘good enough’ father.
A ‘good enough’ father finds time to spend with his children and nurtures his connection with his wife. Tantra recommends building a strong love bond between parents because the stronger the love connection of the parents, the more children will grow up having a model of a marriage that works. A strong connection and good communication with his mate makes him a better lover and a better father.
Men who come to me for relationship counseling and Tantra get to understand on a deep level that trust in life comes from good mothering, and self-esteem comes from good fathering. When you tell your child that it’s OK to make mistakes and kindly but strongly invite them to look at the consequences of their actions to learn from their mistakes, you have helped your child with his or her self-esteem.
When you go to see your kids’ games, you have helped them feel important enough for you to take that time for them.
Father’s Day is your special day to celebrate all that and more.
However, I am thinking also of those fathers who made their woman pregnant by mistake and were not able or willing to commit to fatherhood. I can only imagine how painful a day like Father’s Day can be to these biological “fathers” who might have succumbed to a moment of passion and caused a birth of a human being that would grow up without them. I’m imagining that on a certain level both the child and the father are longing for each other.
Tantric wisdom extends an invitation to those “fathers” to celebrate Father’s Day as well, by forgiving themselves for their ignorance, lack of consideration of the consequences of their action, or lack of courage to take responsibility for it.
By doing this, they start to father their own inner kid that I’m guessing might not have had great self-esteem when that happened.
Forgiveness builds self-esteem and transforms guilt into love.
I also feel for those fathers who had the misfortune to lose their children in war or through some accident or sickness.
Holidays like this serve to help them mourn for the loss and get deeper into self-love.
My love goes out to all of you, fathers!
Happy Father’s Day!
I originally published this in 2008, and have had many comments, so I decided to release it again.
Fun & Facts on Orgasms
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
Mary Roach is the author of Bonk, a wander through comtemporary sex research, full of fascinating tidbits & anecdotes about human sexuality. Here is an engaging, funny talk she gave at TED about what she found out about orgasms while researching the book.
By the way, if you have never heard of the TED Conference, it is an annual gathering where speakers are invited to present for less than 20 minutes on their discoveries, thoughts, and art. It is a gathering of the most remarkable thinkers, artists, and scientists on the planet. And all the presentations are available online at the website. Go visit! You will be amazed, entertained, and uplifted.
Ciao,
Carla
An Unusual Valentine’s Day Celebration
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
I received a phone call from a dear friend, Marylyn, wishing me a great Valentine’s day and telling me she did not have a lover bringing her chocolate and flowers, but she had a great time. Her voice was consistent with the news. She sounded turned on and happy. “She definitely enjoys being by herself”, I thought.
As though she had heard my thought, she said, “I do enjoy spending time with myself; I usually read a book, dance by myself, or play my guitar. But today I’ve decided to do something to have others feel enjoyment about being alive.” Follow for more . . . » »
2010 – A New Good Year
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
A new year has begun, and already we are inundated with messages about making resolutions to ‘fix’ our failings. I believe we serve our greatest potential better when we come from the positive instead of the negative.
This year I am overcoming my temptation to go into new resolutions without looking back to acknowledge myself for what I have accomplished. I have been taking the time to reflect on what I considered failures and see the lessons I’ve learned from setbacks I had in 2009, and I invite you to do the same.
So what have I gained from the year just past?
I’ve learned to take a moment to breathe when painful situations presented themselves. Using the Ocean Breath in my everyday life has been quite transforming. I’ve learned to reach deeper into self-empathy instead of beating myself up for not being “more perfect”, to take a moment and lick my wounds when I needed to instead of instantly diving into work. Taking that time has helped me to forgive faster, learn my lessons, and move on. I also learned to really appreciate the work I do, and actually take in the positive feedback I am getting from my clients. And most importantly, I’ve learned to ask for help when I need it and appreciate it deeply. I’ve also learned how much I enjoy sharing laughter with friends and family.
I invite you to look equally at your successes and the lessons you received from what the ego calls “failures”. It feels good to take this time; it actually opens your mind and your heart for the new to come in.
And what do I desire from the year just begun?
For 2010, I want to grow more in self-knowledge and love. I will follow my intuition and allow my creativity to come through more freely, slowing down self-criticism that I often allowed to stop me in the past. I decide to balance my work with play and enjoy the beauty of nature that touches my heart and makes me smile. I want to grow in understanding and loving others and listen more deeply to what they don’t say … I want to support people in expressing all of who they are, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.
I pray that 2010 bring all of you abundant health, joy, peace and pleasure.
Blessings,
Carla Tara
Happy Holidays
Wishing you the most peaceful Holiday time of this year that is ending
and an inspired, blissful and prosperous 2010.
Love,
Carla
