Breaking Habits That Destroy Love
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
As you probably know, much of our difficulty in keeping a relationship fresh comes from the fact that the left side of our brains, the part that is concerned with our survival, loves to create habits. This part of the brain is responsible for doing things for you that produce efficiency and comfort. Obviously it is not efficient to have to figure out over and over again which muscles to use, and in what sequence, to do simple things like walking, opening a door, making sounds, and even more complicated actions like flying a plane.
By creating habits, the left side of our brain lets us make a little ‘program’ that takes us through the most efficient set of actions without wasting time thinking through each one. We are really grateful for this ability, which ultimately makes our lives easier.
However, the problem is that this same part of our brain wants to take over and make the decisions about what’s best for you all the time, without consulting with the heart. The left side simply takes over the job of the right side of our brain without being in touch with the wisdom that is available to the right brain, and without considering factors like love, joy, and excitement.
If we don’t pay attention, the habit-creating actions of the left side, which can be so useful to us, can start to strangle us with efficiency and routine in the most important parts of our lives where we DON’T want to be on autopilot. Read more
What Do Women Want From Men?
by CarlaTara · 3 Comments
Yesterday I was invited to give a Tantra workshop as part of a bachelorette celebration evening. It was incredibly fun, uplifting and celebratory.
I was stunned to see how hungry for real knowledge these women were. Read more
The G-Spot In Her Ears
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
“For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below too soon is wasting his time.” -Isabel Allende
A G-spot in her ears? Does that sound strange? Bizarre? Impossible? You might have never heard of it, but it is not so strange after you take a moment to think how important words are to a woman.
Do you remember how much appreciation you expressed to your lover at the beginning of your relationship? Read more
Tantra and Sexual Dysfunctions
There is a certain embarrassment or even shame that is connected with sexual dysfunction. No one would be ashamed to have, for example, a liver or heart dysfunction. One would be sad but not embarrassed and one would immediately ask a professional for help.
The most common sexual dysfunctions that men experience are: loss of desire, erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation and impotence. Some women experience: inhibited sexual desire, lack of orgasm, insufficient lubrification and painful intercourse. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, in 2005 more than 105 million Americans reported struggling with chronic sexual dysfunctions and many of them were not aware that there is help available. Diabetes can be one of the causes of sexual dysfunctions. Also some prescription medications for depression can have a negative effect on sexual desire.
There are many causes: some of them are related to hormone production, to blocks to the flow of energy, to shallow anxious breathing and unhealthy diet, just to mention a few. Read more
The Gift of Self-Respect
by CarlaTara · Leave a Comment
It’s Christmas time—a time when most people are opening their pocket books and their hearts to give presents to the people they love. It’s heartwarming. Even I, who believe that a present should be given any time you feel so inclined and not at a specific date, feel the spirit of giving more than usual. Today, I noticed myself humming tunes of love songs and then even inventing words to them that include the people I love.
However, for many people festivities like Christmas bring up lots of emotions, and for lovers who are on the verge of break-up, festivities usually are very stressful and breakups can be precipitated by expectations that the lover does not fulfill.
“Why buy an expensive gift for a girlfriend I don’t respect?” a young man asked me the other day in a counseling session. As he described her, she sounded like someone no one would like to spend his life with her. Read more
