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The difference between regular sex and Tantra is awareness. One of the fundamental parts of the ecstasy you feel during sacred sex comes from the spiritual connection between you and your love partner. It is difficult to stay aware of your spiritual connection when your sex center gets very turned on unless you have trained how to do so.

Staying aware when you are very turned on physically is challenging, but incredibly rewarding. When you learn to stay aware of all that you are during the moments of highest excitement , you are in a Tantic state, a state of union between the male and female energy, between the body, the mind and the spirit, and the emotions flow freely and unencumbered like a river between the different levels.

It is a state of pleasure and deep enjoyment, a celebration of being fully alive in the NOW. When you are in this state, time stays still, and your experience of bliss is stretched and intense. The now is eternal. That is why the experience that Tantric love brings is always fresh and new.

Falling asleep in pleasure opens the body/mind/emotions to healing.

Healing means becoming whole. Healing happens when we are in pleasure. When we connect with ourselves or with our lover in pleasure, we integrate the sometimes incomplete, unfinished experience with our higher mind. When that integration happens, the knowledge of what we have learned and experienced is transmitted to every cell of the body and we heal on a cellular level. (more…)

I recently started working with a great looking woman who first came in my door so stressed that she could not sit still without constantly re-arranging her body.  That first day, her eyes were speedily moving around in hypervigilance.  She could not finish one sentence in the rush to get to the next.

What she said came from a rehearsed circular thinking in her head.  She did not allow herself time to feel.   She told me she hated herself and especially her body.  She grew up with a self-righteous alcoholic father and a Catholic mother who did NOT allow herself or her children to feel feelings, especially those of pleasure.

She complained that she had a dark secret:  she was 49 years old and she had never had an orgasm!  All her friends were telling her of their great lovemaking, ending in earthshaking orgasms. . . Whether they were telling her the truth or not, she believed them and guessed there was something wrong with her.

Talking to Jane did not seem the best approach, because her rigid belief that there was something wrong with her would just filter out my words.  I had to try something more direct. (more…)

If you ever feel that in spite of your best intentions and even great effort, you still seem unable to create and/or maintain the loving relationship you desire, then the following approach might help you.

Take a moment to reflect on your parents and your upbringing as a child. Make a list of what your mother and father believed about sex and love. (more…)

We are born whole with an infinite potential for joy and ecstasy. We feel entitled to being taking care of. We are enthusiastic about discovering our world.

However, many people have been wounded either by neglect or by being treated as a burden from mother, father, or other family member. This has contributed greatly to the erosion of our trust in life.

Without that safety, we cannot open up fully to experience our full potential.

Healing means restoring you to your original wholeness.   (more…)