“For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below too soon is wasting his time.” -Isabel Allende

A G-spot in her ears? Does that sound strange? Bizarre? Impossible? You might have never heard of it, but it is not so strange after you take a moment to think how important words are to a woman.

Do you remember how much appreciation you expressed to your lover at the beginning of your relationship?

If you’re a woman, this probably seems natural and obvious to you. This is because a woman’s heart and sexual excitement are directly connected to feeling appreciated and a receiver of love and interest. For you to stay open to receive your man, you need that feeling to be refreshed, or your heart and your sex center begin to close up – like a flower that gets no water.

If you are a man, you might be more inclined to say: “Well, once I’ve said something, she knows it. I don’t have to continue talking about it. It gets boring.” It’s hard for men to understand this, because they prefer to express their love through actual physical lovemaking. If you’re like most men, you would rather learn new physical techniques to get her high and excited, then develop communication skills.

And you might be right, if you can think of only one way to say something. Saying it over and over would lose any meaning and just be another routine – boring for you and her. But if you let your awareness of how much she needs to hear words of appreciation mingle with your willingness and deep desire to express your passion with words, the right words will come: just trust yourself.

Remember – the key to your woman’s turn-on are words of appreciation coming from your heart. She will hear the fakeness if you fake it, but if you are honest everything you say will work.

You can even start with: “You know, honey, that is hard for me to come up with words to say how much I love and appreciate you. And I know that you love to hear it, so I will do my best to find the words even if they can barely express the depth of my love. I’m sure I’ll get better with practice.”

You know, men, all she wants is to be seen by you and feel that she’s important to you. I can also tell you that most women I work with have body issues. So no matter how gorgeous they look to others, they may feel that insecurity inside. So, you need to understand that any time you make love to her, she could be full of thoughts in her mind that you may be thinking of another, perhaps younger or more beautiful woman? At those moments, your words followed by your physical lovemaking will take care of every possible doubt.

Imagine how she will feel hearing your sweet words of appreciation, such as: “Honey, you are the only woman I love so deeply. You are fun, creative, strong and still soft enough to make me want to hug you until I penetrate all the parts of your body with my essence. I feel our heart connection: I can feel our two hearts melt into one.” The woman who receives this is melting and ready to explode into love and pleasure with the man who shares his heart this way.

If she’s older and is worried about her age, you might want to tell her –if you mean it – that you still see her as she was when you met. “I see you young and beaming with energy. Energy is what attracts me to you more than anything. You have that something that drives me crazy for you, still after 20 years of being together!”

Your woman has a direct connection between her G-spot in her ears and her G-spot in her yoni.

A client of mine, Natalie, said that when her husband paid her the best compliment of her life she had a G-spot orgasm. Yes, the G-spot does not even have to be physically stroked when the words stroke it deliciously as her husband’s did:

“Honey, I love you much more than you can even imagine. Your skin is as soft as velvet: all I need to do is touch you that I get turned on. Your smell is so sexy they should bottle your smell it and sell it as aphrodisiac. Your eyes are penetrating my soul and all I want to do is make love to you until you are so high you need a parachute to take you down. Please let me touch your beautiful face and kiss your voluptuous lips…”

That did it!  Natalie told me she was getting wet while hearing this. The strokes that followed took her higher than she thought possible because they started lovemaking already so high with desire and love.

Natalie added, “I am here to learn all the best Tantric techniques so I can to give my man the best of my love and make my lovemaking exquisite for him every time. ”

That’s how Natalie decided to thank her husband for giving her a G- spot orgasm in her ears!

I hope you take this tip and use it tonight!  See how much difference sharing the attention of your heart and your lingam makes in your woman’s excitement. And I hope the women reading this who want more from their partner will share with him the secret to the G-spot in their ears too!

If you would like to learn how to sharpen your own lovemaking skills, and give or experience  the kind of g-spot orgasms that Natalie had, you can make an appointment for some private coaching.

There are powerful Tantric techniques that will help you have several mind-blowing orgasms without ejaculating – they are called multiple body orgasms. Every time you control your instinct to ejaculate, your will move toward a higher, more powerful orgasm. You can have as many orgasms as you want during the time you have set aside for this most pleasurable and enlightening experience with your lover.

A good time to decide to ejaculate is when you know your lover is fully satisfied. Do not worry: she will give you unmistakable signs. Then you can decide to have the last body orgasm with a conscious ejaculation.

This kind of tantric orgasm -I call it the Tantric Big O – will definitely be your highest and your ejaculation will be stronger and longer.

Your experience will be so intense and profound that it will keep you smiling for days. An ejaculation that happens as a reaction of your body that just wants to release a sexual tension is a fleeting pleasure compared to this. Conscious lovemaking increases your physical, emotional and spiritual love.

Men who have mastered the Tantric Big ‘O’ tell me that they experience their highest orgasm with the added pleasure of being flooded by a deep well of love and adoration from their woman. She sees him as her hero. This is the desire of most men. It is ingrained into our psyche. Men want to be heroes. Why not becoming “Superman” in bed?

However, to become a “hero” you need to own also your “feminine” side, the side that Carl Jung called the ‘anima’. Making love is a dance between the masculine and the feminine (the yang and the yin) and you need to take turns between the two if you want to arrive at the highest pinnacle of tantric orgasm.

Going up a mountain that is steep you learn that it is best to go up by zigzagging from side to side, a little higher each cross, than to try to rush straight up. Your yang energy (masculine) wants to reach completion in a straight line, but the yin part of you (your feminine) desires to slow down and enjoy the process. It wants to luxuriate in the touch, to take in the beauty, to nurture.

This is what Tantra teaches. When your climb is very steep, you need to take rests. Tantra calls these rests ‘valley orgasms’. These will allow you to climb to the top of the Himalaya while enjoying the journey. On your way up, you will encounter many valleys. Resting in these valley-orgasm gives you the energy to continue up to the very top – the tantric orgasm, the mind-blowing Tantric Big O.

To obtain this kind of power of choice takes a clear, strong intention and a real commitment to practice. Practice is essential when you are learning. You know that to really become master at anything, it requires both know-how and practice. No matter how talented you are at any sports, if you do not practice – your game will just be ordinary. Yes, a coach is very important. A great coach can give you the right instructions and transmit enthusiasm to you, but you still have to practice to achieve mastery. If you are reading this. I know you are willing to train to be the best lover you can be.

In my sessions, I can transmit to you the tools that will take you there and give you a winning formula based on a most enjoyable ‘training’. You can experience yourself as a brave warrior, a man who can overcome the desire to release this enormous sexual force.

In this state, our bodies are relaxed, full of potential energy, producing an environment in our bodies where health and vitality explode in each cell. We feel fully satisfied and joyous.

In the moment of orgasm the soul is restored to its original essence of peace and oneness. The quality of an orgasm depends on how deeply you connect with your partner. As you know, some ejaculatory orgasms are superficial: they just relieve the tension created through fast masturbation or, for women, clitoral stimulation. This is not the orgasm I’m talking about here. I am referring to deeply connecting Tantric orgasms.

For a woman I mean g spot and cervical orgasms. And both can be blended with clitoral orgasm. To reach any of these orgasms, trust and emotional connection are essential. Many of you already know about the g spot, which we in Tantra call Goddess spot. The cervical orgasm is even deeper and more powerful, and it is usually achieved after a longer period of stimulation.

For a man, I mean an orgasm that comes both from his body being fully turned on – not just the lingam – and from his soul being fully involved with his female lover. Tantric tools help the man to reach these high quality orgasms. For more on this, see my article Male Multiple Full-Body Orgasms.

Bathed in a radiant/peaceful “afterglow” you can now both integrate your love on a deeper level as you realize you are one. You are realizing the truth of each moment: “we always are ONE”,and there is deep relaxation, ecstasy, peace and safety in the experience of this reality.

We enjoy the deep connection for a while – how long depends by each individual preference and need. However, since we live in the world of opposites, there is an opposite urge for autonomy and individuality at work within in each of us, and soon the urge to separate takes the front seat in our consciousness, driving us to separate once again. In this physical reality, if we are always at peace and in perfect balance we can get bored. We exist in this world as a result of opposites: day and night, light and dark, men and women, and living here fully mean playing the erotic game of oneness and separation. So we build up magnetism to attract the complementary polarity; if we are in the male energy, we attract the female and vice-versa. It is this play between the urge to unify and the urge to separate that creates the dance of intimacy. Tantra shows you how to become masters at it.

We, both men and women, have a mixture of feminine and masculine energies. The masculine in us feels its bliss in freedom and emptiness. Bliss for the feminine consists of mastering change, stirring up energy, flowing with the waves, being the wind that makes the leaves dance, the hurricane, the volcanic eruptions, the explosion of life in spring, the birth of life from her body.

The healthy masculine is driven to achieve some high goals. When he has achieved them he has the freedom from needing to do something so he can rest in emptiness: nothing to do – or for some to do something out of joy, not out of necessity; even in lovemaking the masculine part of us works until it releases the tension often through ejaculation and then hangs out in “nothingness”, perhaps tuning out in front of a TV set, or some other mindless entertainment.

All religions founded by men have in some form or another as an important goal redemption (recovering freedom) and eternal peace. On the other hand, matriarchal societies have produced Tantra and other systems celebratory of love and connection. Celebration of spring is another way the feminine celebrates. Beltane is a time of celebration and fertility rites.

The healthy feminine expresses itself though changes, shades of light and shadows, alternating moods — from joy to crying if she’s deeply touched by the presence of the masculine, and his attention to her. The feminine is in touch with what happens in her body, moving her body in waves of pleasure and making sounds according to the power of the waves she feels within her body.

The masculine can ride with her achieving his goal of emptiness when his attention is fully in her so that he becomes her. He enjoys the feminine in all her expressions when he can be so present to her. The feminine feels complete when the presence of the masculine is complete.

When this happens both female and male are in ecstasy and can reach the highest orgasms that are the celebration of the reunion between the two polarities. This intense, juicy celebration of our physical reality takes us to ecstatic places beyond the physical reality. This excursion into the reality of who we are is essential for the health of our human experience. During orgasms oxytocin, a hormone that creates bonding, is being released. The immune system is being stimulated and strengthened, blood circulation brought to all capillaries, flooding us with energy and rejuvenation.

People who achieve these kinds of orgasm have a bounce in their steps, a more positive attitude and attract more abundance with fewer struggles. They usually look 10 to 20 years younger when they reach their 50s and 60s.

By the way, if you have never heard of the TED Conference, it is an annual gathering where speakers are invited to present for less than 20 minutes on their discoveries, thoughts, and art. It is a gathering of the most remarkable thinkers, artists, and scientists on the planet. And all the presentations are available online at the website. Go visit! You will be amazed, entertained, and uplifted.

Ciao,
Carla

I have just discovered my g-spot, and loved the orgasms I have when it is well stimulated.

I was feeling so great thinking that now I know everything about my sexuality.

However, my friend ruined it for me the other day by saying that the cervix orgasm is better. I don’t even know you can have a cervical orgasm. Is it true? 

Answer:

First of all, orgasms cannot be compared. They are different for everyone and you can reach different heights at different days depending on many circumstances, including your mood, and especially the quality of your connection.

However, I am glad that your friend mentioned the cervix orgasm, because most people have never heard of it. The more you know about your anatomy, the more you can enjoy your body.

The cervix is the end of the canal that starts at the entrance of your vagina which Tantra calls the yoni or ‘sacred space.’ The cervix is made of cartilage, and it’s smooth and firm like the tip of the nose. It has something called the Os, that means mouth in Latin, which is the opening into the uterus.

After the clitoris and the g-spot – the place inside your vagina behind the pubic bone at the base of the clitoris (Tantra calls this the ‘Goddess spot’) — have been stimulated and engorged, the cervix lifts higher and, consequently, the vaginal canal elongates and the cervix becomes more difficult to reach with the fingers.

However, the penis can reach it more easily, and if your man knows how to move well to stimulate your cervix without hitting it too hard, he can bring you to powerful orgasms usually accompanied by ejaculation of abundant sexual fluid which Tantra calls Amrita.

Now that you have found out about this wonderful experience, sometimes called the X Orgasm, I hope you have a lover that can help you reach this great orgasm!

Blessings,
Carla

What she said came from a rehearsed circular thinking in her head.  She did not allow herself time to feel.   She told me she hated herself and especially her body.  She grew up with a self-righteous alcoholic father and a Catholic mother who did NOT allow herself or her children to feel feelings, especially those of pleasure.

She complained that she had a dark secret:  she was 49 years old and she had never had an orgasm!  All her friends were telling her of their great lovemaking, ending in earthshaking orgasms. . . Whether they were telling her the truth or not, she believed them and guessed there was something wrong with her.

Talking to Jane did not seem the best approach, because her rigid belief that there was something wrong with her would just filter out my words.  I had to try something more direct.

I could see that Jane was breathing high, shallow breaths, lifting her upper chest while her lower chest remained immobile ,and her belly pulled in tightly as though she had to save her back from the strain of lifting a heavy weight.  She was in a state of high stress.  Although her muscles were quite tight, giving the illusion of strength, she was pale, and lacking inner strength.

So I empathized and created a safe space for Jane to feel her feelings. I started her off with the Ocean Breath, a gentle,
powerful breath that takes people out of their minds and into their bodies in a very short space of time.  Although the Ocean Breath is easy to learn, the resistance to it can be great.  One of the skills of a Tantric guide is to create a safe space where one can feel supported in discovering emotional truths we are hiding from ourselves.

Jane’s first fear was that she might be swept away by her emotions, and then succumb to some terrible, life threatening attack from outside.    We looked at it together with kindness without buying into it, and the fear started to diminish enough for her to achieve a relaxed state she had never felt before.

After I encouraged her to do the Ocean Breath for a while, her body started to soften.  Her cheeks became rosy and the constant movement in her eyes slowed down.  She was afraid of falling asleep when she reached a peaceful place.  Wanting to fall asleep is another defense, so I invited her to continue the Ocean Breath.  Then another fear emerged, the fear of liking pleasure so much she would stop working and then . . . starve!  A series of fears came up, including that she would be punished or even raped if she allowed herself to be playful.

We calmly addressed those fears one at the time.  After a while she finally surrendered to enjoying the feeling of pleasure in her body and a sense of acceptance that she never felt before. By the end of the session, she had transformed her urgency to have an orgasm into a calm confident acceptance that having orgasms is natural when we allow ourselves to just feel and be present to those feelings, riding on the waves of the breath.

She called me after a week of practicing the Ocean Breath for 20 minutes a day, and told me that she had experienced a great orgasm with her boyfriend.

By the way, the Ocean Breath works for men as well.  By focusing you in your body, it helps you relax your mind and escape the relentless self-criticism we all struggle with.   This helps you to overcome premature ejaculation, to relax enough to feel more pleasure and have greater orgasms (including full-body orgasms), and take the women to her greatest pleasure!

It was awesome. I was feeling so energized and excited that I skipped all the way home.

However, I want you to know that sometimes orgasms can be quiet and very deep. At other times, you know you are not able to have an orgasm at all. Women sometimes feel that they have to fake an orgasm with high sounds and fast breathing in order not to disappoint their lovers. Men who might know about explosive orgasms might measure their own ability as lovers, by a woman’s ability to have explosive orgasms.

What would you do then? You might ask yourself, “should I fake it or not?”

Hopefully, you will trust your partner enough to tell him: “Honey, you know what a great lover you are and I think you are realty hot, but tonight I think I’m not able to let go.” or something similar that is true for you. This will save his “sexual self-esteem” and open up to him in your vulnerability, which is very attractive to men. Most men in that case would love to cuddle and kiss you until you relax, perhaps into a real orgasm.

When you fake it, you feel a lack of integrity and you may sabotage the relationship. You might have noticed that after you have an orgasm you feel elated and energetic. But after you fake one you feel depressed and tired. Sometimes, instead you may want to force an orgasm to end a sexual encounter. Instead a better choice may be to tell your partner the truth about your feeling of having enough (for now) and offer to give him a great an orgasm using your other talents.

Faking and forcing orgasms is not what you want to do to nurture your relationship. You might even unconsously avoid the next sexual encounter, which can really damage your relationship.

Regrettably, there are also women who actually are too wounded to have orgasm. But that is a topic for another post.

Blessings,
Carla

While I am staying out of the medical debate about penile enlargement and its consequences to your health, as a Tantrika I can say that the size of your penis has little to do with her having the greatest orgasm she can have. For you, it is very much a matter of being in control of your mind that often scares you by telling you that you will repeat the same poor performance of previous times, and using the right angles during intercourse.

It is essential to really connect with her, to know how to use your love muscles (PC muscles), using breathing and concentration techniques to avoid premature ejaculation while building up the charge. A premature ejaculation is an ejaculation that happens before you want it. Your muscles start pumping out the semen involuntarily. You need to learn to control them, and in many cases strengthen them. If you ejaculate before your lover has reached an orgasm, whether clitoral or vaginal or both, it is an ejaculation that is premature.

Tantra can give you the techniques you need to achieve results you desire. Furthermore it provides you with the added satisfaction of connecting more deeply with your lover. When you allow their love in, instead of being closed off in your head, worried about how you will perform, you will relax and actually be a better lover.

About her orgasms: a clitoral orgasm can happen with just rubbing on the outside of the clitoris. It can be achieved during intercourse if her clitoris is close to the introitus of the yoni so it gets strokes by your lingam, otherwise she needs extra stimulation from the outside. You can help her achieve vaginal orgasms, whether g spot or cervical orgasms, during intercourse by adjusting your angle of entry and doing the right hip movements.

The clitoral orgasm can not be compared to vaginal orgasms. It’s like comparing apples with oranges. The clitoral orgasm is more intense and more similar to the male orgasm, whereas the vaginal orgasms are more feminine in nature: more wavelike and can last for a long time and can be repeated. A woman can have a series of vaginal orgasms, but usually only one or two clitoral orgasm. Then the clitoris becomes too sensitive to continue.

I really hope I have helped shine some light on the debate. What do you like more: oranges or apples? I myself like both and both are incredibly pleasurable.

In contrast to the “pump up and burst” type of ejaculatory orgasm that usually leaves men tired, I teach my male clients to have non-ejaculatory orgasms that build up their energy instead. Many men I’ve coached tell me they still feel their body charged with erotic energy, and they become emotionally closer to their love partner. Some report a strong sense of bonding to themselves as well. They experience themselves as more loveable, and have higher self-esteem. Thoughts and feelings are in alignment–that is, they no longer think one way and feel another. They feel at peace with themselves, and connected with the whole of life.

How Can A Man Learn To Have Multiple Orgasms?

Sometimes a man can reach a very high orgasm by accident, in which he feels his energy expand beyond his body to include his lover. Occasionally he can even reach high levels of spiritual connection as well. But without the scientific knowledge of how to reproduce these effects, achieving such results is left to chance.

Tantra, however, uses methods that can produce repeatable results when practiced correctly. An important part of the tantric approach is the understanding of energy–how it’s stirred up, expanded, and moved to different parts of the body. If a man wants to attain more control over achieving multiple orgasms without ejaculation, he’ll need to learn the tantric techniques. These can best be acquired from women who have the dedication, knowledge and experience to be tantric love coaches. These women are called Tantrikas.

If a Tantrika is unavailable in your area, you might get some very basic information from Tantra books or videotapes. But trying to learn how to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms from such instructional aids alone is comparable to learning to ride a bike by reading a book about bicycles. To perfect your technique, you really have to get on a bike yourself, or have a private Tantra session with an experienced Tantrika.

What Does A Tantrika Teach Men?

These techniques come to us from the ancient knowledge of Tantra, the art and science of becoming a more conscious person and lover. They include methods of concentration to tune into your body sensations, without allowing your mind to wander, or comparing this experience with others, or rushing to reach a specific goal. They include very important breathing techniques–some designed to increase sexual energy, some to surrender to that energy, and some to control that energy. Also important are techniques designed to use sound in a special way to vibrate different parts of the body to further expand that energy.

I’ve had several men tell me they were embarrassed to make sounds during lovemaking, believing only women make them. But after they’ve experienced the qualitative and quantitative differences of erotic excitement that the orgasmic sounds can produce, they accept the idea with more enthusiasm. Many of them decide to tell their love partner before lovemaking that they’ll use certain sounds to increase and lengthen their mutual pleasure. They invariably find their partners are actually turned on by those sounds.

The techniques of seven levels of movements–from the shallowest and slowest to the deepest and fastest–can be used like precisely fine-tuned instruments in a wonderful symphony (andante, staccato, etc.), depending on the effects you want to create. For example, as you feel yourself approaching the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you’d change your pelvic movement from the yang to the yin–that is, from the fast and strong thrust to a slower and more relaxed one, perhaps directing the thrust away from your partner’s body and softening the penetration.

Also important are techniques of varying the touching approach of your sexual organs, your heart area, and other parts of your body at specific times during lovemaking. For instance, a relaxed perineum (the area between the genitals and the anus) and strong love muscles (the pubo-coccygeal or PC muscles at the base of your pelvis) are prerequisites for de-localizing your sexual energy. In that way you can avoid ejaculation, and at the same time increase your orgasmic pleasure, by re-directing highly charged sexual energy to other parts of your body.

Feeling Your Orgasm Through Your Whole Body

All the above tools and more aid in creating multiple full-body orgasms–orgasms that are felt throughout the entire body, not just in the genitals. An analogy that helps men understand the process is that of wave surfing. As you’re building up your sexual energy, you ride the wave upward. As you’re approaching the crest, you start riding along the crest, thus avoiding going over the top. Greater and longer thrills are your reward if you don’t allow yourself to go over the top of the first wave.

Another analogy that helps explain multiple orgasms is that of climbing a tall mountain with several peaks. When you’re almost within reach of the first peak, you hang out in an adjacent valley and feel the blessings of the high energy you’ve generated so far. You can use tantric techniques to sustain your erection for as long as you want, and at the same time connect deeper with your love partner’s heart and soul. At this first peak, you can have your first non-ejaculatory orgasm that involves the whole body. It’s also called a Valley Orgasm. It’s as though all the cells of your body are exploding with pleasure and excitement, while the lingam (the penis) is still retaining most of its energy. It takes just a moment of concentration on the lingam for it to recharge even stronger than before.

After this invigorating “rest” you can resume the movement and the breathing that will bring you to the next peak, and then to yet another. The full-body orgasms get increasingly stronger, until you reach the highest peak of the Himalayas. This lovemaking could culminate in the biggest, strongest orgasm that you’ve ever experienced. This is when you can go beyond your body to feel your connection with the whole cosmos. You then can really experience the feeling that you’re not only a cell in the infinite universe, but you also are the universe, and can come back into your physical reality fully recharged and more at peace.

If after many such peaks you decide to ejaculate as well, Tantra recommends that you do that by taking the longest, deepest breath and then exhale slowly, vocalizing your excitement while you’re ejaculating. Tantric masters can prolong their ejaculations to last for nine consecutive deep breaths.

You Do Not Have To Be A Tantra Master To Use These Techniques

The best candidates for this esoteric knowledge are men who are honest enough with themselves to admit that, no matter how good they are as lovers, they can always improve their techniques and approaches to lovemaking. These men are courageous enough to ask for help, and smart enough to get it. They know their greatest wealth is the quality of life they create for themselves, and for the women they love. These men also have enough wisdom to know that experiencing full-body orgasms will take time and practice.

When practicing these techniques, there are many signs to look for that can confirm you’re on the right track. A tingling sensation, shifts of consciousness, a warm glow, a feeling of being lost in time, making involuntary sounds and spontaneous movements, and becoming relaxed in a high state of excitement are all signs of an impending full-body orgasm. The key is to pay attention to the smallest sensations in your body. Instead of judging them as “too small to matter,” you become curious about how big they can get-but without making that a goal.

A wise man also knows that sometimes we have unconscious resistance to pleasure, and that some limiting thoughts or emotions like shame or guilt might come up. This is an important reason a qualified coach can be very valuable. An experienced Tantrika can spot those more-or-less subtle blocks and invite you to relax, own them, and move through them to a higher level of bliss.

Full-Body Orgasms Feel Great – But They Have Other Benefits Too

Learning to have several full-body orgasms without ejaculating can help a man circulate his sexual energy to flood his hormonal system, and re-stimulate hormone-producing cells that usually reduce their production as we become older. Higher production occurs during your developing years, and then diminishes steadily with age. Men using the tantric techniques can heighten their hormone production, especially the “free” testosterone which causes high sexual desire and improves performance.

There are several other benefits to this practice. Exercising your love muscles will strengthen them, and will help keep your erection powerful and strong for a very long time. The increased circulation that results from the recommended contractions and releases will help to keep the sexual organs strong and healthy. The risk of ending up with prostate problems diminishes substantially.

One of the most important side benefits of a man mastering the multiple orgasm techniques is that it gives the woman time to get greatly stimulated and her genitals time to get highly engorged, so that she can have several orgasms herself. The ancient tantric masters knew that if they satisfied their woman sexually and they honored her as an equal partner, harmony in the family was the result. Besides, I’m often told that a man’s greatest pleasure is to see his woman very turned on by him.

Have you ever considered how much money, time, and emotional pain a divorce ends up costing? Some divorces happen because of lack of trust, and lack of communication. However, in my many years of helping men, women and couples achieve their maximum satisfaction in life, I have consistently observed that when sex is great and men have certain control over their sexual instincts, life becomes more fulfilling sexually, spiritually, and on all other levels. The emotions and the spirit get lots of nurturing, and the love between the couple grows much stronger. Trust and communication improve greatly. When you make love for a couple of hours instead of just a few minutes, you’re more likely to stop outer body movements and get into deep communication by looking into each other’s eyes, and sending energy back and forth to each other.

During these love-building breaks you’d communicate how much you like making love to your partner, and how important she is in your life. You might take turns flexing your internal love muscles to maintain your erection. Don’t worry if your erection diminishes in size a bit. You can regain the full erection shortly after you start moving again. In Tantra you’ll learn that it’s more about moving energy than about “work.” You’ll learn to circulate your sexual energy throughout your body–and hers–expanding it to gain all these benefits while having a wonderful time.

In the end, even if you decide to ejaculate, you’ll have absorbed most of the energetic content of your ejaculate, and you won’t feel tired and sleepy afterwards. You can stay awake and share pillow-talk with your partner, an activity all women seem to enjoy after making love. This is an instance in which you can have your cake and eat it too.

Learning On Your Own

The best way to learn any body-centered practice, including sexual techniques, is definitely one-on-one with a coach, but for some people this is not an option. They may not be able to travel, or have a limited income, or just feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger about such a personal issue.

In these cases, an online or home-study course can be your best option. One course which has been recommended with very good results is Ian Kessler’s Male Multiple Orgasm, and if you are looking for a course you can follow privately at home, at your own pace, I recommend you read more about it.

One-on-One Private Coaching

If you would have more questions about learning how to achieve multiple orgasms, and would like to schedule a private session with me, you can contact me.